yumyumcherry

From yumyum’s mailbag (designer, of course):

Hi yyc,
I know you do that astrology stuff, I want to know what chance I might have with a guy whose {sic} a Gemini. I’m a Sag and I think that means we’re opposites. He’s really adorable. Sort of Long, Lean, Blond, uh, anyway, what do you think I could do to reel the boy in?

In Love with A Gem?
Good Luck, they’re all in the Rough (sort of a la Tiger Woods.)

You need a light touch girlfriends, anything too overt will cause this one to start loading his backpack, briefcase (where he may actually have his, well, briefs), lunch box. Whatever. He’s skittish. He does friendship better than relationship. He likes the concept, but it’s a lot of follow up and well, you know, after the deed is done he wants to be also. It’s only fair, you did have a solid ten minutes (we hope) of his undivided attention. Only Spiderman 3 got more.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) actually stands the best chance (especially if marked in Libra or Aquarius) since even if you wanted to nail him you’re just too freaking busy to get around to it.) He’ll groove to that mood. The Libra has the intellect he likes and the femininity that reminds him that he is a guy. The Aquarian can help him get some of those stations he hasn’t signed up for (it’s not about the money, it’s about the time, kids) sigh.

Learn to text message. In fact, that could be the way you exchange vows. Praise the fact that he’s wearing one blue sock and black. Hey, it’s a fashion statement. Learn to adore Cup O Noodles or Drive Through cuisine. Oh, and remember he’s a pathological liar, it’ll save you time.

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Hi Yummy,

I hope you print this question, because like you I spend lots of time in Japan. I know that the dining customs vary (for example–no pointing with chopsticks), but exactly how does one manage when eating in a group? Western manners are pretty clearly cut in Western restaurants, but how ’bout on the town?’ When do you dive in? Starved.

Dear Starved,
Let me introduce you to your Mini Bar. For $47, you can eat that package of Ritz crackers and have the peace of mind knowing that no matter what pops up on your plate (and yes, sometimes, it is more literal than figurative) you can cope. It will also enable you to break the perception that all western people eat like hungry wolverines.

Japanese meals are in my opinion more about the experience than nourishment. I’ve heard of celebrities getting tossed out of sushi places in LA because the chef decided that they had eaten too much. We’re talkin’ groovy southern California kids. The stakes rise as you cross that dateline.

Once you are seated en masse, nod with all the certainty of a lemming to whatever those around you order. There will be many ‘ne?’s’ thrown in for good measure. Smile again. Think about that last cracker you nestled in the folds of your purse (for later)–the vision of which will sustain you as they wheel out the UNI (raw sea urchin).

When the meal arrives, murmur ‘Itakimasssss(u)’ Sort of like saying ‘Grace,’ but not really. It is considered ill-mannered to serve yourself, so you will follow their lead (they’ve been doing this longer). That should get you through it. Besides, as a western oaf, how many table manners could you really have anyway…..Whoever you are-san?

On the bright side, there is still the $65 package of peanuts awaiting you in your room. Best $65 you ever spent.

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‘Bread and Butter’ letters as they were once known, a good thank you is more than sound etiquette, it is a sincere thanks for whatever small consideration.

Kids, it isn’t eaten, worn, or played until the note goes out.

Smythson’s whimsical stationery, adorned with personal elements. In this case…these boots were made for ‘talkin’……Red, naturally.

Smythson (my favourite–and, purportedly Sharon Stone’s) Stationery. If not personalized, still good weight card stock and goes much farther than any email. Sole cards can be bought at Papyrus for different occasions and Cranes is fine as a last resort. Save Hallmark and American Greetings to pick up puzzles and overpriced knickknacks.

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