yumyumcherry

VBH=Very Big Hustle. Not that I don’t dig having $35,000 locked in by AMEX as Reserve just in case I can’t live without what appear to be spiraling fishbones. VBH takes great pains at setting black diamonds on the backs of each set of earrings. I can live without that kind of scrutiny. Anyone looking that closely had better be paying my credit card statement. These were sent on ‘approval’ to me. That’s always a comfort when my card is declined at 7/11 for a cherry Slurpee and a bag of Doritos. I find it vaguely disquieting to think that I look like I would choose these spiny baubles if left to my own devices.

Speaking of Devices, exactly WHAT ARE THESE THINGS anyway and why are they over three inches long? On the bright side, the backs are diamond encrusted. Dial my 800 number to hear more, Lover.

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….and, you know the scenario–you’re in the hotel room at the end of the day and you want to pop open that small bottle of diet Sprite, or Gorillas-in-the-Mist, well, whatever 7-up clone the chain has sworn allegience to (you know the generous portioned variety that are distributed in mini bars for $12.00 each)….and…..no bottle opener in sight. Sure, you can twist yourself into a frenzy and have enough scars on your palms to get an FBI profile. Well, V. Bruce has thought of it all. Ta Da–the Tattoo belt. Opens bottles, can be winged like a boom-a-rang from your bed to nail assailants with the skill of a Ninja warrior. Yep, looks pretty hip with it’s versatile croc/leather strap options.

Surprised Ron Popeil didn’t think of this one, it is however, $1200. But, very handy.

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VBH–Adored by Jeffrey, New York–Neiman Marcus: SF, Beverly Hills, and Palm Beach and Bergdorf Goodman. Who is this guy? His name is a bit confusing with the LVMH Branding of products–I’m sure that’s a coincidence….of course, how chic could a bag be if it was called a Hock-see-ma. That almost sounds like a blood disorder, ‘I’m sorry ma’am, but with your white count elevated, you could have Hock-see-ma.’ Or maybe a cold cream–Not NOXEMA, but Hocksema. It comes in a crocodile dispenser and costs $9.675. What a Deal.

Seriously, the skins are dyed with precision to just about any colour in the spectrum. V. Bruce was the head of Valentino for years (presuming that all Valentino himself really cares about now is his topiary and frescos. The guy has merchandised himself into a pretty uptown location that has to dent his wallet each month.

VBH has a vaulted jewelry room that I would probably would have been shot had I photographed it–somebody mail me a Minox. So much for industrial espionage. It’s not as if I own a crocodile farm and I’ve striving for techniques.

Anyway, Loved the range of Pinks–probably need one desperately. The black VIA is de rigeur with gold (yes, it’s b-a-a-a-c-k) hardware. The box alone weighs enough to require a driver to hoist into the trunk.

I’m still kicking myself for passing up that VBH/Posh Spice-Beckham collaboration at Samantha Thavasa’s Tokyo Boutique two years ago. Ah, hindsight. It would have made an interesting conversation piece even if it really wasn’t large enough to hold David’s lipgloss.

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