What a Relief!! It’s BIG America, Part Deux

Based on the menu options, I guess it’s pretty apparent that as AMERICANS we have reputations for Eating all the freaking time…..sort of an ‘attach the nose bag’ and ride off into the sunset kind of proposition.

And, we like our portions UNCONTROLLED….as we graze merrily. We do get extra points for coordination while gun slinging– it’s not easy to operate a 357 Magnum with one hand while we grope for our NEXT snack in the greasy paper sack. Hence–we just put the entire meal in a bun.

All at once.
Just say AHhhhhhhhh

Oh gosh, someone left the stainless fry tongs in the bag—-oh well…..gone in 60 seconds.

….anyone see “mike-chan?” oh well gone, too……..I guess it’s not just about the mayonnaise anymore…..

The real issue that I have with the BIG America, second series (or the second coming as my intestines refer to it….) is that none look particularly appealing.

Okay, the TEXAS Burger (That’s right, George, we’re gonna “rassel” with one o these…..) is fair enough. It doesn’t photograph nearly ‘gooey’ as most of the burger “connessieurs” I know would prefer. Just ask around at the Jackson Hole Burger stops in NYC……

“Burger Idaho” (is that like ‘Ski, Colorado”–nice ad) sports…yeah, predictably potatoes. I don’t know about the other Americans in the room, but I’ve never actually seen an American order potatoes ON their burger. Not once. Really. Okay, well, fair enough…..they could be onto something.

“Miami Burger”–which features Tortilla chips (is this racist or something?) atop the patty…one hopes it is served with some non-union picked lettuce in keeping with their theme du jour. Again, kidding aside, it’s the side order issue…Is the apple pie under the bun, too? I mean, it’s gotta be there if you look.

Finally, the Manhattan Burger donning one slice of pastrami. (G-D Miriam, I hope it’s Kosher). I don’t know if this concoction was an afterthought and they needed four selections? Shouldn’t there at least be bagel chips on the hamburger? A Pretzel? How are we supposed to keep up the 4,000 calorie a meal plan without more carbs? Maybe this is their ‘diet’ option.

Better hurry—Only available until February, plan your next trip to Nihon around this menu selection.


Leave a Reply