Yummy Knows Best: Eating Out

Hey Yummy–
IF I go out to eat with people, am I supposed to pay, do they, what’s the deal?? Chris

Hey Chris (yo, yo, yo)
The Deal is: First of all, I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman. Sexist as that may seem, it still does make a difference. For example. If you are a Christopher and you and a bunch of friends go out—having mutually decided to dive into the Food Court, well–it’s safe to assume you’ve got a separate check thing going.

However, let’s say, “Christopher,” that you invite a date and six couples to dine at Morton’s. The bill comes and you shrug, having assumed that everyone was kicking in their portion, well, you may be surprised. (As in washing dishes, or VERY Embarrassed at the very least).

Some couples have this ‘alternating’ thing going, I call it Knife Swapping. We get together and frequent restaurants or one another’s homes and share cuisine (and whatever else, but this is a family channel)….well, you may pick up the tab one time and then they do, blah, blah, blah. Note: USUALLY this is over if you don’t pony up by the third meal.

Rule of thumb, if you have invited the guest/guests, it’s YOUR responsibility to pay. Technically you should refuse to allow them to do so as the Host.

Now, if you are with a member of the opposite sex/same sex and this is a date (as in kissy kissy)–then, Christopher, you SHOULD pay. Chivalry is NOT dead with Yummy.

On to Christine, well–first of all, if you have invited the gang, you should pay for it. I know, some of these relationships with girlfriends get a bit involved until Madge whips out her number two pencil and starts doing higher math to determine your cost of the two iced teas divided by her side of potato salad. Friendship is a beautiful thing, isn’t it. Pay the tab and don’t go out with Madge again.

If, on the other hand, you are with Mr/Ms Wonderful and it is a date, you should by now know who is paying for what. This isn’t sex ed, you work it out. A word to the wise, however, most “dates” are based on the concept that you are involved in that ‘getting to know you….’ concept. Do NOT order something more expensive than your date….this is not the time to try Lobster Thermador if your partner is ordering a lesser meal. Take a Cue. Please, oh, Please, do not get a drink or order a Magnum if Sweetie is having a Diet Pepsi–finally, Don’t clean your plate. You were asked out for the pleasure of your company not because he/she thought you were hungry.

Don’t bag it, don’t take it home. Even if you have a dog, but especially if you don’t. Save that for family–it’s pretty clear with them who is whipping out the plastic.